How To Write A Pokepasta

So you wanna write a creepypasta? You want to torture some poor little human or Pokemon until it is nothing but a puddle of blood and bone? But... you haven't got a clue what you're doing, or don't know where to start, or maybe just want some good tips? You've come to the right place!

... Yeah, that opening sucks, hehe. Anyway, I am getting annoyed at all these 'pastas I see that are just carbon copies of each other. I'm not talking to anyone in particular here, and sorry if it offends you, but the blunt truth is that a lot of the 'pasta out there is really uninteresting. It's all BLOOD BLOOD DEATH KILL REVENGE STAB STAB STAB. Hey, even I've done this - remember 'Little Red Rabbit'? My first 'pasta, and I just did what everyone else was doing, haha. Then I realised that EVERYONE writes 'pasta about revenge and wanting to be the only one that 'Master' uses and loves. It's... well, it's getting a bit boring. Sorry to people out there with 'pasta like this.

So yep, this is the basic way I do my 'pasta; I'm not saying this is the right way, and that any other way is pathetic or stupid. If you got your own steps and way of doing things, kudos to you and I hope it works well for you. But if you want a bit of advice or actually have no idea what you're doing, then hopefully this will be of some help to you. Overall I will just be giving tips and hints, and guidelines for what order to do things in. Sorry if this is confusing or anything, I'll happily clarify anything if you ask me.

STEP 1: GETTING AN IDEA

Lord, it is SO hard to get a unique and interesting idea nowadays. A lot of people will pick a Pokemon out of a hat, make it loved, than forgotten/neglected, and now suddenly it's back for revenge with a lot of gore and hate and creepy smiles. I'm telling you now - This is NOT the way to go. I also recommend you don't use the 'Am I not good enough for you?' recipe - ie. Pokemon you like, Pokemon evolves into something you don't like, Pokemon tears apart other Pokemon and attaches bits of them to itself to make you like them. That used to be a pretty decent formula, but now it's getting pretty overused. Once again, I'm not singling people out or trying to be rude - I'm just trying to help people write interesting and good 'pasta. Those two formulas, however, can come out pretty well on rare occassions with the right presentation and layout; I leave it up to you to decide which route to take.

So yes, finding inspiration for your 'pasta. Personally, songs, experiences in-game and simple fridge logic make up the bulk of inspiration for me. First up, though, you gotta choose whether you are going to write a In-World 'pasta (meaning it is set in the world of Pokemon, as if Pokemon were real) or an Urban Legend 'pasta (someone playing a game). Of course, you can mix it up a bit: call this self advertising, but in 'Only A Shadow' the entire 'pasta is from Zeta's view and it seems In-World, yet at the end the game he is in is turned off, and the save file glitches, destroying him. There is another 'pasta I read which is from a Pokemon's view from inside a game. This Pokemon knew it was just pixels, and referred to the player as being 'outside of his world'. Personally I find In-World 'pasta from a Pokemon's point of view easier than anything else. Urban Legend 'pasta is very repetitive, usually, unless it is about a glitched game, as in the entire game is messed up or possessed. Plus in In-World 'pasta from a Pokemon's view you can describe all their emotions, feelings and thoughts, the inner workings of their mind. This helps the reader understand what is happening, helps them really know the characters as if they were sitting right next to them. Of course there are upsides to 'pasta from a trainer point of view too - The mystery of not knowing what is happening, the surprise of meeting that strange wraith upon the deserted winter mountain. Really, it all depends on your idea; Selfish self-advertising again, 'Just A Hug' would have it's tune changed completely - the way it is now, it is a sad tale of a mistaken Scyther and her inner desires. Trainer POV, and you have a psycho Scyther who wants to cut her Master to ribbons, with the truth being revealed at the end. It all depends on what you want to make your audience feel; are they scared, sad, angry at the trainer? The audience feels what your characters feel. ...Man, that turned out longer than I wanted it to, haha. Anyway, now you know if you are doing an In-World or Urban Legend. You need different inspiration for each, so I'll split this up.

URBAN LEGEND:
BAD inspiration for this one is simply one word - REVENGE. Everyone and their uncle Billy-Bob has done a revenge 'pasta at some point. We all know a really popular one, 'Pokemon Dead Channel'. It is one of the rare ones which is actually good. So many people read it, so many people try to mimic it... not the way to go.
GOOD inspiration can come from many sources. ''There's a place/door here. I can't get through. What awaits on the other side...?'' Ding. 'Pasta. But please, don't make blood and death and gore and FWAH await on the other side. I'll come to that more later. Also, Platinum. A lot of that storyline is just F'd up. Use that to your advantage. To sum up, you can use elements of the game itself as fuel for your stove, making way for a great 'pasta to be cooked up.
There's also glitch games. Anyone who hasn't read Lost Silver or Cursed Black, get on google and read them now. Now, you don't have to make up an entire world from scratch, like LS; Heck, Cursed Black only adds a Ghost for a starter that can kill anything, and at the end you get your comeupence for your crime of killing. In short - you can't escape death. A messed up game can be horrifying; I know, because I got one in real life once, and it was horrible. With the right features, you can get a real good story going. Maybe it's a deeper look into the workings of Team Rocket - Maybe you play the game as Giovanni and have to choose the path you take, and try to beat Red's butt. Maybe it's a game that was so horribly glitched up the sounds and visuals slowly drive you insane, creating an unrealiable narrator (look it up if you don't know). Now you don't have to have a moral, and I especially recommend avoiding missing limbs, randomly dying Pokemon, Lavender Town and crying blood.
For best results, do not add blood or gore to your recipe at all, or if you must add some, no more than a tablespoon's worth. I am NOT a good role model here, but you don't need all the SAW effects to make a good 'pasta. Psychological damage works well too, haha. Of course, blood and gore can add to a story - once again, it all depends on what your plan is. Just make sure you have a good reason for things to be the way they are. NO REASON is even worse than REVENGE or LOVE ONLY ME OR DIE.

IN-WORLD:
There is much much MUCH more to work with in this type of 'Pasta. My favourite type of 'Pasta are PokeDex entry based. This is more often called Nightmare Fuel, though - accidental features that seem harmless enough but are actually so frogging scary that you suddenly sit up at night and go ''Wait a minute... This Pokemon really does that?! WTF Nintendo?!'' All you gotta do is say certain Pokemon names and you know that you got fuel for your stove - Frosslass, Banette, Parasect (DUDE, IT'S A ZOMBIE MUSHROOM). Now obviously there are Pokemon that have had their Dex entries so hidiously overused that they are practically begging for mercy. Looking through Bulbapedia or another site that lists all the Dex entries from each region can help you find that otherwise innocent Pokemon. A good friend of mine Arceus-Sama (AKA Kasuki) wrote a 'pasta about Wailmer, using this innocent entry... ''On sunny days, it lands on beaches to bounce like a ball and play. It spouts water from its nose.'' And the 'pasta is great. So yes, kids; anything is possible!
Carrying on, songs can be good for 'pasta too. Three of mine are song based - 'Little Red Rabbit' is based on the Vocaloid song 'Story About A Poor Blue Rabbit', 'Only A Shadow' was originally along the lines of the Vocaloid 'Kaito Ga Unistall' and then developed slightly, and 'Roses Are Red, Violets Are Too' is based on the songs 'Animal I Have Become' by Three Days Grace and 'Monster' by Skillet. As long as you don't follow it too closely (that will greatly limit your creativity genes) songs are a brilliant source of inspiration.
Then, you've got the stupid things the creators of the games never thought to fix. Why the heck can Charizard roll around in the grass? It's tail is on fire. And what is up with 'Whoa! Scyther suddenly hugged you!' ... Ouch.
And then... GLITCHES. We all know Missingno. and what it does to your game. Now make your game real life. Yeah, that mass of unimaginable terror just got a whole lot more horrifying, didn't it? These things aren't supposed to exist. But here they are, and they want to play ball. With your head. Each glitch has it's own effects and weird quirks. There's ones that are 40ft tall, there's ones whose cries NEVER END, there's even ones who spread a disease, almost like a zombie apocalypse. 'Pasta, anyone?
My final inspirational source is LOGIC. What are the burgers made out of? And now you're sticking a Ditto in Daycare and forcing it to breed endlessly with multiple Pokemon. POKEMON, Y U NO USE YOUR BRAIN?

All of these are our ingredients, and with the right selection, you can make a mean 'pasta that everyone would love to dig into. ... Yes, I like cooking jokes and metaphors when it comes to creepypasta. Anyways, that was a very long step 1, hehe. I'll try to make the rest shorter.

STEP 2: PLANNING YOUR PASTA

So, you got your 'pasta style. You know what the story line is. What you gotta do now is start that engine in your head up and get those creative juices flowing, because it's time to cook that 'pasta! ... Or it will be once you decide how you're going to lay it out. Is your narrator telling someone else this? Is it an audio recording/journal found in some long lost, abandoned location? Is someone deliberately trying to decieve you with their words, so much so that you have to read the 'pasta several times and deeply absorb and analyze each word to find the true meaning? Third person, multiple narrators, unrealiable narrators, Pokemon narrator? ... Really, the possibilities with this are almost endless. Thinking outside the little box (that most writers seem to throw themselves happily into) will help your 'pasta be so much more interesting than the same old style of the narrator telling the tale. Yes, I am also not a good example of this. I seem to fail at anything other than a first person narrator or third person narrator, hehe. But by working at it, you can make 'pasta that really draws in a crowd. Of course, narrator telling the tale works fine, as seen with the more popular 'pastas, so you don't have to change it up. Do what works best for you.

So you got the style, you got the storyline, you got the delivery... Now you need to get the details exclusive to Urban Legend or In-World 'pastas down!

URBAN LEGEND:

You need a game that is going to ruin your person's life. So what will it be? My advice; NEVER use Red or Blue. Everyone and their Grandmother knows at least three 'pasta using these, probably more, and pretty much every single thing that could be messed up with them has been thouroughly messed with. It becomes predictable very quickly after reading one or two, and frankly for me they have grown boring. In fact, try avoiding the main games all together. The spin-offs, such as Mystery Dungeon or Ranger, can be a brilliant setting for what is messing with your player's mind. The whole storyline of Pokemon Ranger: Shadows Of Almia particularly screams out for a 'pasta to be set in its world. As before, don't limit yourself to what I am saying here. 'Pasta can be incredible and creative with mainstream games, as long as a unique, interesting storyline is found.

Next up, please don't say a random man gave you this game in the street. Ever. Not only is that incredibly unrealistic, it's so overused it makes my brain hurt trying to think of the number of poor souls who started with a sentence stating that fact. Also, Ebay. NO. It's used to death by the people who don't know how else to get the game. Finding the game randomly in the street or buying a brand spanking new game with the plastic on and everything looking completely normal are absolute no-nos. How often do you find games in the street? And why the heck should a new game be hacked or messed with?
Here are some good ways to get your game. The first, though a bit overused, is that it's a used game you bought somewhere. It's dated, but at least you know it's possible. The previous owner could have done who-knows-what with the poor thing... Expanding on the 'who knows what they did to it' theme, your friend gave it to you. He is a hacker and practising programming. Whoopsie, he just ruined your life - and maybe it was on purpose... You could even have downloaded the game as a ROM from the internet. Hey, dude(tte)s, it is the internet - anything can and will happen online.

Now for the features of your 'pasta. For the love of Arceus and Reshiram, PLEASE give everything that happens in your 'pasta a reason. Don't kill Pokemon just because you feel like it. Don't have excessive blood, gore and everything in between strewn across the fields. AND LORD, DO NOT REFERENCE LAVENDER TOWN IN ANY WAY. Unless, like, you have to. But yeah, don't make Lavender Town Theme start playing randomly in a game that doesn't even have Lavender Town in. So, what can you include, then? ... Pretty much everything not listed before this. But I'd say that sparkles and cookies and rainbows are a bad idea, haha.
And dear Arceus, please don't make your narrator die at the end, unless it's a recording or journal or something. Yes, I know that happens in 'Little Red Rabbit'. But I'm telling you now, it's a bad move. Some old fellow's ghost is not going to come back just to tell you about the glitchy game that drove him to suicide.

Above all, don't forget to keep this realistic. 3D Pokemon and OMGSUPERGRAPHICBLOOD have no place inside any games from Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald or older. Most of the side games for DS don't get along with the 3D either. And again, I know this happens in 'Little Red Rabbit', but your Pokemon is pixelated. It cannot leap out of the DS and stab you with a screwdriver. Which is why I'm annoyed that so many people use something similar to this. No, I'm not saying they copied me, I'm saying I leapt on a very overcrowded bandwagon and now I'm ticked at the lack of room. But yeah, dying at the end is a really old, cliche event. Don't use it. Similar to that is your narrator getting trapped in the game. Tell me; how the heck does a human being get locked inside a tiny electrical device? It's not believable at all, so leave it on the shelf. And with the DS itself... It cannot read your mind. It is not a smart being that can speak to you verbally. If you must, use text boxes, but the speakers and microphone are not for you to abuse with terrible unrealisticness.

So it's got a good storyline and style, you know how its going to be told, you know the game you are abusing and how you obtain it, and you know what not to use in your 'pasta and how to keep it realistic. So what are we missing...? Oh yeah, the FEAR element. Strictly speaking, a creepypasta does not have to scare you. As long as it ignites a negative response in the reader, ie. scared, sad, mad, etc., it's a 'pasta. But for the sake of creepypasta lovers who love the fear, I'll focus on that. There's a lot of things people use that don't actually work, the main thing being gore. Sure some people freak out and vomit at the slightest mention of blood, but be assured a regular creepypasta conisseur will be used to this and not react in the slightest.Think about what turns your blood to ice that will affect the majority of people. Personally, I am incredibly aphephobic (fear of touch), but the majority of people honestly couldn't care less about contact with others. There is no surefire way that I can help you make your 'pastas chilling, but keeping up suspense and being cryptic help a ton. Variety in your vocabulary increases interest as well as allowing the audience to feel your fear. Instead of 'It looked freaky. It scared me.' use something like 'It's terrible, deformed figure turned the blood in my veins to ice. I could feel my heart hammering at my chest so fiercely it felt like it would burst, and my shaky hands could barely hold my DS anymore.' The more detail you pile in there, the more feeling and emotion you put across. Of course, don't describe things beyond the limits of the game you are using. And most of all, be psychological. Mind-rape your victim reader to the point where they quiver in their computer chair and are forced to take a breather for fear of their mental health. Of course, that is really hard to do, but if you aim for that you will probably at least get something chilling.
And now I'll tell you what not to use, ever, in a BIIIIIIIG list~
* REALLY POPULAR OVERUSED POKEMON
* REVENGE/LOVE ONLY ME OR DIE
* HAPPY ENDINGS OMGYAY
* gLiTcH sPeAk
* LOTS.... OF.... PERIODS... AND.... EXCLAMATION.... POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* I'M HEADLESS/ARMLESS/LEGLESS/COMPLETELY-CLICHE YAY
* THIS STORY IS A DECADE LONG AND YOU WILL LOSE HALF YOUR LIFETIME READING IT
* ZOMG LAVENDER TOWN SYNDROME FOR NO REASOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
* BLOODY TEARS, BLANK EYES, CREEPY SMILES SO SCARY OH WAIT NO ITS NOT
* BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD DEATH BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD KILL KILL KILL KILL DEATH I LOVE YOU
* WAIT POKEMON DIE NOT FAINT WAAAAAAAAAAH
* IT KNOWS MY REAL NAME WEEEE~
* LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF POINTLESS DIALOGUE THAT BORES US TO TEARS
* ..... Lots of capital letters.

IN-WORLD:

You can pretty much do whatever the heck you want in a In-World 'pasta. You don't have the confining limits of playing a game. It's pretty much just writing a creepy piece of fiction that's Pokemon themed. But, you know, some of the same rules apply here as with Urban Legend creepypasta. Blood everywhere, revenge, and 'love only me or die' are not good themes to take. You need to take advantage of the things already there, or other simple themes you can bring to the Pokemon world. Look at some Pokemon's Dex entries. Some make you squeamish, some make you sad, some make you go WTF? They are perfect for theming a 'pasta around, and what's more are completely canon. Furthermore, Pokerus. It's used a bit in 'pasta, but not over the top. Take advantage of that and unleash the plague. Unleash rabies. What does Pokerus do to Pokemon mentally? Show us with your words. Pretty much any other theme not in the bad section is a-okay for use.

Keeping the FEAR factor isn't as hard with an In-World as it is with an Urban Legend. You haven't got game graphics to worry about, so you can just whip out your thesaurus and go absolutely bonkers with detail. The more detail you cram in, the better. But please, despite this, keep gore to a minimum. It just makes things messy, and the words 'red' and 'crimson' get boring after a while. Besides that, there isn't anything else I can say for In-World. Most of the things from what not to use in an Urban Legend 'pasta apply here too, so just take a look through that list, ignoring the points about glitch speak (it's impossible to see someone speaking glitch anyway) and knowing your real name (you don't name yourself something different in real life). To make a good In-World 'pasta you really just need to be a good author and use your creativity and IMAGINAAAATIIIIIION~ There are no limits, so just go wild.

Some extra tips/hints/guidelines to follow for both styles:

* Grammar. Punctuation. Spelling. We go to school for a reason, please type these stories properly. If you know for a fact you are a terrible speller/grammar-mistake-person, ask a friend to read through it for you, or even ask me. I'll happily Beta-read stories for you. Also make sure you ask their/my opinion on it. If they/I say something needs work, don't bite their/my head off. They/I am just trying to help you improve your 'pasta and your writing overall. I'll say this now - Have a go at me when I'm critiquing something fairly, and I will hunt you down and eat you alive. ...Or just block you and blatantly refuse to contact you again.
* Keep the 'creepy' in creepypasta. If it's not scary or sad, you seriously need to rewrite it. Now.
* Length is important. If you make it too long, people will begin to lose interest. Too short, and it'll no doubt be incredibly lacking in detail and not very good. You need a length in the middle, perfect for the average person. ... Oh Lord, accidental double entendres. I'm going to restrain from putting an x and d face here.

And this is as much help as I can give you. I hope you found this helpful, at least a bit, and I'm sorry if I waffled on a bit much. I have the gift of the gab when it comes to talking online. As I stated earlier, if you need any help, just give me a holler in the comments section and I'll be happy to lend you a hand. Also, I don't mean to offend anyone with this. If I did, I'm sorry; I didn't realise at the time. I was just typing as the words came to me, ha.

Peace out, chefs and conisseurs; I hope to see any future dishes you may make!